It's the Little Things . . . .

I have been a nail biter all my life. Looking back I don't ever remember not biting my nails. And it has been a bad case of nail biting--down past the quick, leaving bloody, painful digits, sometimes the pain would last for  days.

In the summer of 2010, God healed me of gallstones. Big, bad ones. I remember thinking to myself, "I'd better quit biting my nails or the stones will come back." Of course that was something that would never happen because biting my nails is an unconscious action. It's just something I do. When I'm watching television, or listening to a sermon, or reading or writing or anything, my fingers find their way to my mouth and before you know it, every nail is gone, some of my fingers are swollen and bloody, and I have failed again..

Since August of 2010, I've been trying to live according to Jeremiah 29:13 which says:

 . . . and you will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.

I have been seeking God, searching the Word to get to know Him better and trying to live my life according to the two commandments He gave us in the new testament. To love Him with all my heart and to love others as much as I love myself.

I can say it has been a busy and very exciting time for me. I have finally come into the heart knowledge that God really does love me. Me! Despite all the bad choices and awful sins, He loves me very much. What a precious gift, that knowledge.

During this hard time of writing my moral inventory for CR, while God is stripping away from my life the people I don't need to be around, the things I don't need to have in my life, pruning me so that I can grow strong in Him, God has given me another gift. A simple one for Him, but one that means so much to me. I have long fingernails!!!! They are MY fingernails! Somehow in the midst of learning and praying and seeking, God removed from me the desire to chew on my nails!!  A small but visible reminder that He is with me and loves me and truly wants to give me a good life.

What has He given you?

Tonight I would say to God:

Thank You so much for this visible reminder of Your love for me. This small thing that can't be important to You, but that has lifted me up, especially lately while I'm letting go of some relationships and starting the very painful process of trying to rebuild some relationships. Thank You for this visible reminder of Your love and Your power.

I know that people laughingly say, "Never pray for patience!" They say that because when you pray for patience, God doesn't just GIVE it to you---He sends people and situations and drivers and family members and even strangers to give you opportunities to practice being patient. And I always said I'd never pray that prayer.

Instead I've been praying that God would teach me to walk in true love toward others. I've been praying that He help me do "the next right thing." To say that it has been a difficult few days is a pretty big understatement. I'm not being very successful at the moment. It seems that I fail more tests than I pass right now. But I'm not going to stop praying those prayers.

I thank God that He doesn't give up on me!

Tonight I would say to God:

Thank you for the people You have placed in my life to help me get through this walk to You. I also thank You for the situations You give that help me to grow and become more like You.

Thank you for reminding me that I am not who others think I am, and I am not who I think I am, but I am who You say I am!!!

The Next RIGHT Thing

I heard in my CR group a saying that insipred me to live by it. From this point forward I will strive to wake up each morning and simply "Do the next right thing." I mean, if I am listening to God and walking prayerfully through my day, that should be the way things happen, right? I have several women who are becoming dear friends through this program and a few men as well. They walk this way, too.

Doing the next right thing should also help me to walk in true love as God has been directing since last August. I know I can do this with help from my friends.

Today I would say to God:

Thank you for blessing me with such wonderful friends who are striving with me to continue in doing the next right thing. Help me to be a good friend to them as well, living by example as they do.