What is TRUE Forgiveness?

I know that in the Bible, Jesus said we should forgive 70 times 7. But is that really all there is to it? I'm hearing from some people that I truly respect that when someone continually hurts you or if they hurt you badly enough, that yes, you should forgive them, but you don't have to continue to be a part of thier lives, that you have to "guard your heart."

Since September, God has been leading me to learn to walk in love. And to love my neighbor as myself. The two greatest commandments in the New Testament. (Matthew 22:36-39)

So what is LOVE? According to His Word, Love is . . . patient, kind, not envious, not proud and boastful, not dishonorable, not rude, not self-seeking, not easily angered, not a grudge holder, it doesn't delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and never gives up. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

So if love always trusts, then after I've forgiven someone who hurt me, shouldn't I trust them again, shouldn't I never give give up hope that our relationship can be fully restored? And if I'm supposed to love others as myself, wouldn't I want someone to trust me again even if I hurt them badly, or wronged them? Doesn't God forgive me when I sin over and over and over? Doesn't He forget my sin when I repent? So why would He want me to remember some wrong that someone has done to me?

When we forgive but don't forget, when we withhold something of ourselves from someone who has hurt us (even if they've hurt us terribly), aren't we holding a grudge? Love doesn't hold a grudge.

So what about guarding our hearts? Does that mean that we have to protect ourselves from people who have hurt us by withholding ourselves from them? Proverbs 4:23 says: Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. And Philippians 4:7 says: And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I'm not well-schooled in God's Word, but I think these verses are talking about making sure that your heart is full of God's word, God's love, and the things of Him. While He doesn't want us to fall into evil, or live in sin, how does loving someone fully do that? I don't think the Bible says that we are to guard ourselves against our loved ones, friends, family, acquaintences.

If anyone can show me that, I would be grateful.

Today I would say to God: I want to walk in love like you commanded in the new testament. Teach me how to do that.

A New Beginning

I've heard in seminars and conferences that we become like the five people we spend the most time with. So I hope to become like my sister, Carol; my singles class instructor, Shelly; Joyce Meyer; Jesse DuPlantis; and Creflo Dollar.

My sister gave her life to God a very long time ago, and she has stayed with God, walking with Him continuously and faithfully. I very deliberately walked away from God 21 years ago. Is it even possible to start over now. At the age of 47, is there time left in my life to make any difference for God? Can I be devoted and not turn away again?

Shelly taught a womens' Bible Study at my sister's church and when I walked into that room for the first time and Shelly shook my hand and spoke to me, sweet peace fell over me. She lives the life she teaches. I can see Christ in her. I want people to see Him in me.

I listen to Joyce, Jesse, and Creflo daily. I'm learning from them, trying to apply the things they teach.

If I sat across from God tonight, I would say:

God, I want to believe Jeremiah 29:11-13, that you have a plan for my life that is good and not meant to hurt me. After Jeffrey's death, I didn't believe that and I am sorry for walking away from You. I am seeking You and that scripture promises that I will find You if I search for you with all my heart. Am I not doing that? What else would you have me do? Or is it too late to have a fruitful life? Or do You know that I will turn away from you again in the future? Please let me find You.